Inadequacy

Inadequacy.

Its the one word that rings through my head. I don't know what is more deafening the constant word of Inadequacy or the silence that follows it.

Its like a bad smell that I can't wash off. No matter how many times you shower, the smell lingers. Whether its the constant distaste of one's self or the actual constant smell, its a constant reminder of the inadequacy - as if the thoughts were not enough.

I don't know whats worse - the lack of logic in my head or the utter realisation of the I word. Its funny who a single person, that you haven't known for long can invoke such a feeling. But then again, the bond that I felt went beyond the weeks that we have known. It was something that cannot be described in words alone. That is to say there isn't enough daylight in a day, nor is their enough night in a night to express how important they are to me.

In reference to my earlier posts - maybe, it one of those situations that I must let them go, in order to care for them. Its something I don't want to do, but in the end, I do care enough for this individual to see them happy. Its all that matters for me.

Emotions they have been plaguing me lately. And thankyou to that person that has been my sole light. To me your like the little smiley face night light that I had when I was young. You kept the shadows of my emotions at bay. The things that you have done for me this night along go beyond the mere words of thankyou.

Short post - nothing of great importance - simply needed to rant.
Thankyou I say to those that read and hear my voice.

PJ ><"