The Grain of Rice

Imagine a cup of rice. Yes thats right a cup of rice. Now imagine that its full. Not simply full but out to overfull, full. Say that the cup was one grain of rice from over flowing and splurging out onto everything. Now imagine two of those, one on each end of a scale. One grain of rice - one grain that can tip the scales in either direction. A sole grain of rice, whilst small, has never had so much importance in its life.

Its a bit like my life right about now. The glass is almost overflowing with happiness and content. But yet there is a single grain of rice missing. Without this single grain of rice, neither the happiness or the content can be seen to its fullest extent.

There are those of you that proclaim that the the glass is predominantly full and therefore happiness should be evident. However, at this point in time happiness doesn't function in such a "majority rules" manner. Complete happiness and content with one's self can only be achieved when every detail is in line. Every detail, every grain of rice - however small, can tip the scales.

And so many ask what is the grain of rice that is so significant that it can tip the scale from complete happiness to utter despair. Many of you will know for me. Its not something that I can hide from my face. To some people it seems insignificant. For me, sneezing at something like this there is no bigger insult. For me the grain of rice has significance that is beyond most peoples comprehension.

Those that close to me would say that I get to worked up in such an issue. Yet I see the grain of rice slowing falling onto the glass and upsetting the balance of the scales. As the glass proceeds to overflow with rice, the cascading rice hides the descent of the scales into utter despair. This is what i see happening in my mind's eye. Devastating. Yet every second I live, is one second closer to confirming that image.

A single grain of rice
Two outcomes
Endless ramifications

And so here I sit, dreading the outcome as it creeps closer. I don't know what is more unnerving - the silence in my head or the storm that is brewing. Yet amongst all the clutter in my head I cling onto a single thought - if I want it enough then it will be. I want it enough - but whether or not the scales will tip to my favour is yet to be seen.

- Pe3Jay